The Lores Okiya and Hanayagi Gakko

Serving with grace and elegance!


A commitment to myself

Author unknown

New post 01/31/2015


 I am the world’s best authority on the subject – ME.

 More than any other person, I know what is best for myself.


 I can be an individual, who lets things happen to me,

 Or I can determine to be in charge of my life,

  To be an autonomous and free person.



 Make choices and decisions,

Express my wants and needs,


  Assert my individual self, my   rights, and ideas.


 I can create, Play, and

Share who I really am as a human


 The real me,

 The best me possible.

 I know I need to be close to another person – at times


 I will seek to fulfill that need,

but love them no more than I love myself,nor meet their needs at the sacrifice of my own.


   In whatever conflict I experience,


I will meet the other person half way, but will not be a loser so  that they might be a winner.


 I will not put myself down or discount my feelings or intelligence.



   I don’t need my own criticism of myself.





New post 01/31/2015


  1. Self-worth is inherent in all of us. We gather our own opinions about ourselves and based on what we think other people think of us.  I had a tendency to rate myself, at say five or six on a scale from one to ten, in terms of how worthy I was. Worthy of happiness, success, joy, money, progress, it all had a rating that would tell me I just wasn’t worth it. This mental state would outline itself on new situations in my life, maintaining the same old limited sense of my capabilities. Apparently, this rating was my comfort zone, in that I felt anxiety about attaining either higher or lower levels of success.
  2. And then I found submission, or rather it found me. Feeling finally free to express myself in a manner that felt good. I had a sense that the people I was interacting with on my submissive journey had a higher level of  self-worth than I had of myself. It’s amazing what interacting with others that have higher self-esteems will do for your own self-worth. It can either make you feel less or it can bolster you up.
  3. Amazingly, I was lifted up and through some daily mental exercises I improved my self-worth. I would stand in front of the mirror everyday and tell myself that I was worth everything the world had to offer and that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to. Your mind is capable of many wondrous things if you let it. My self-worth was actualized when I found a Dominant that wanted me, desired me and craved my service. Yes – someone else helped my self-worth reach its peak. I don’t recommend hoping that someone else changes your self-worth – you should do it yourself.
  4. What really matters is how you feel about yourself, not what other people think you should feel.
  5. So how do you begin this journey of self-discovery to improve your self-worth?
  6. Here are a few things that come to mind courtesy of Operation Beautiful.
  7. Reflection. Think about the people, places and things that have influenced your life. Did they positively or negative contribute to the way you feel about yourself?  How does that affect your life now?  Should it affect your life now?
  8. Daily Affirmations. Self-talk can go a long way in determining how we feel and what we present to the world.  Try this:  Choose a phrase to state your intentions for the day like, “I will cherish my body today.”
  9. Journaling.  Write down inspiring quotes, exciting events in your life and interesting people you have met. Make sure to look at this book daily.
  10. Laugh.  Have fun.  Spend time with people who make you smile. Laughing always makes you feel better, guaranteed.








I have noticed with some of my daughters at The Lore, that they do not take the time to get to know one another, To explore,

They just jump from one relationship to another,

This takes time, it does not happen overnight, and if it does, it will more than likely fall apart over night.


I have also found out that if you do not like yourself, if you feel you are not worthy, then why would a potential Dom Feel that you are. How do you expect someone to like you or care what happens to you if you do not.


Think about that question. And when you do, think about it.

I will often say to my children, “I love you”

And their answer most likely will be,


My answer is this…

“Why not!”

So I ask you the same question WHY NOT?

That question is not as easy to answer, because in truth what is their about you not worthy of someone’s love, trust and loyalty.

So once again I ask you “WHY NOT?”




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